It’s my third time to fully read this book. Once at my teenage in Korean; once in college and, this time, in grad school, in English. Not surprisingly, every time I read this type of classic bestsellers, I learned new things. I now see things differently, now that I’ve lived more.
After reading the book, I found myself thinking more empathetically and listening more attentively to others. In general, I felt better at communicating with others than before. Golden rules—be genuinely interested in others, hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise, smile, and remember names—deserve to be repeated as many as in the book.
For the other rules, I’d accept and apply most of them; however, I remain skeptical of their general effectiveness. It’s no panacea for all. Since published in 1936, people across the world and across generations have read it. Carnegie puts as though we could absolve most of relationship problems through his life-learned rules by enthusiastically enumerating the successful cases of his pupils. He seems to find it hard to understand why people don’t simply follow his rules for the sake of their own life. Nevertheless, nearly a century later, its continued popularity suggests that humanity may still grapple with similar issues, casting doubt on the principles and examples.
As a matter of fact, there’s no scientific reference at all throughout the book; one might just treat the book as total rubbish and go on her life. Nevertheless, I would take most of his rules as ways of becoming more amicable to others, rather than “winning real friends.”